Saturday evening, I was at a party, and a man told me that I’m scary.
Not just that he finds me scary, but that ‘all men do’! I said, ‘Fancy you being the only one who’s brave enough to tell me.’
But I thought about it, afterwards, and wondered why a 49-year-old man, 6’4″, sound of body, would say that. Does he genuinely find me scary? Did he think it was a good chat up line? (It’s not.) Did he think it was an amazingly witty thing to say? Did he think I’d like to consider this guy, more than a foot taller than me, scared of me? Did he think it would put him in a good light, in some mysterious way? (It doesn’t.)
I asked the question on Facebook and received an interesting selection of replies. All from women.
Out of twenty:
Nine said that they have been told they’re scary, too. Wow! Now I’ve gone to the thread and established that ratio – nearly half of us are considered scary. Now that’s scary.
Seven were pretty scathing of a man who’d say it. (So, guys, it really isn’t a good chat up line.)
Two said that I’m not scary, I’m supportive and assertive (thanks!).
One said I’m terrifying. (Hmm. Thanks.)
Two thought it was plain rude/rubbish.
And just about everyone interpreted ‘scary’ as a strong/confident woman. I’m not going to go all coy and say, ‘Who? Me?’ And I don’t see why I should. All kinds of less admirable traits like impatience and impetuousness, go with it, of course, but, yes, basically, I’m confident, outgoing etc.
So, what I’d really like to know is: does that make me scary?
WHY?
And please do tell me. I won’t bite. 🙂
Sue Moorcroft blog 